Sunday, June 30, 2013

Made it Home Tonight!















































7 minutes ago near Austin
YES !! I made it HOME!!
What an Awesome Hot as the surface of the Sun day!:0
Couldn't sleep toe hours of figuring out nothing matters, but since it doesn't why do I care? actually thanks to George Carlin and Math. CATS cat the caTs! My business partner is puke central with central booking out the back! We drive-all the way over highway past Dell into Bee Caves Twisting and turning and I'm Talking to stay excited to not get tired I have said 3.5 funny things already and I decided to let the dead drive in peace. Scenery and trees green smudge like Tipperary on a map. Flowing like shoulder length hair until you hit the red lights.
Park the car partner stays in it for two hours.."Dude you need to go home.."
"Ok man sorry see ya later!"
"Give me a call when you get there. Love you man!"
I remember when he had long blond curls, fist time I saw him Standing like
a bad ass little viking ! Smiling and Smiling it was amazing how he seemed to love to smile. That's why it's always so hard to see him in pain.
I think of him uniquely cause he was born first ,
but i kind of can't help but think of him like
my first son.
He's fighter more than me,
he's funny, smart, sarcastic..
Gone home sick.
Luckily seeing Luis, Andy, R2 and how hot it was! Nomad sound is the Best..
it's so glamorous, the tons of equipment, the impossibly long cords you must unfurl, The incredible weight of the Amps the board. The heat slapping your arms while your not lookin! The Sun doesn't play fair!
Today I saw Spock I Saw captain Kirk! NO not the last LAME movie!
Andy and R2
Sounds like some insane scifi radio show from the 30s!
More like Kirk and Spock work in the heat of Planet Hillcountry
repairing malfunctions and teaming up with alleged professional musicians
to tweak the entire day from a little train that might,
into the Kick Ass Train That did!
and got payed for it!
Then I met The Que Pastas
and heard this:

Friday, June 28, 2013







I  have played on P.C.on X-Box 360,  Wii and our PlayStation 3. I dig it when it's well done. By well done I mean produced like a movie with a twist, I am in that movie. Being in a movie is great when you can lose yourself in the movie but find yourself standing there when no one taking pictures.
             Time to time i'll give a review of the games i have been able to stand for more than five minutes.
                      I prefer role playing action oriented games that are story driven. A Game should be better than a movie for me to spend so much time in the world it portrays. I get bored pretty easily and  I HATE games I can't jump in!
    New game production is as complex as making a motion picture is!  Games now commonly "Star" well known Hollywood actors, as well as professional voice actors. 
                 To me The new game in town is not just watching .....movies any more, it's X-box, it's P.C. playing Tennis on the Wii! Playstation somehow always seemed a little smoother.
                Well produced games such as Heavy Rain, Alan Wake, L.A.Nior, as well as Skyrim, Assassin's Creed involve as much dramatic direction and production as the graphics and game-play do. Of course one reason Games have become more and more cinematic is because of games made about movies and T.V. Shows became very popular and as they grew in popularity the gaming industry developed more and more sophisticated ways to portray that particular shows universe graphically and realistically.
      One of the most important things game creators should consider is the players ability to SEE
where they are going and what they are doing. Too many times it's too dark  and they use that and add fog  then give you a time limit to find a way out down a treacherous hill (Assassin's Creed 3 Does this a few times) in other words --- We  couldn't think of anything better to do so here ya go?!
        All relevant statistics and information should be visible and close at hand. If you have to stop game-play to re-arm or change weapons or find out how many bullets or lives you have left it's a fail.Another important thing they need to keep in mind is that a player needs to have everything explained in a simple understandable "do-able" manner. If you are going to be looking for the treasure chest, but you are also expected to rescue the hostages first, it should be explained BEFORE you are actually playing !
          A great way game designers ruin the fun of a great role playing game is to add  time trials every other scenario. Don't get me wrong some people love beating the clock and if it is relevant to the story it can be really exciting . If beating the clock is just thrown in because they couldn't think of anything else to do it becomes incredibly annoying. One of the reason people play games is to escape the clock not be ruled by it even more, so PLEASE stop with the Stop-watch!! You must also consider the actual use of controllers. Pressing X and Y while toggling L back and forth and pressing the trigger button all at once is great if you have eight fuckin fingers and do hand yoga on a regular basis, otherwise keep it simple I can barely tie my shoes with two hands!
          There are some things everyone asks themselves when playing a role playing game. Is the Gameplay and action so good you can forget about the stupid story? (Tomb Raider?)
Or.. Is the story so good you can forget about the stupid Gameplay.  (As in Final Fantasy 7)  Also, Games are constantly changing and graphics are getting consistently better.  Every new game should keep this in mind, not to say that old games suck but hey unless it's supposed to be an artistic touch or something I expect graphics to be at least able to look like what they are supposed to be representing. I don't expect to have to stomp boxes, like in an old game from 1999 to get health or points an a modern epic space saga like 'Deadspace 3'. If you are going to make me open a lock please make it a challenge, make it a skill and not blind luck.
          Thief had a pretty nifty, if frustrating at times, Lock and Key, Skyrim was ok , 'Assassin's Creed 3' seems clumsy at times. Dishonored was great.
                             I hope the following stops-- Arriving home after a long day you plug in your game, but you can't play it til you add this code or buy the add on! Never make the person who just spent money they could be buying Ice Cream with now have to upload some special part of the story or armor, or multiplayer settings,  then to add insult to injury , make them pay for it!    Yeah 
                         I have a particular preference to each game and my gameplay philosophy is:
 If it takes over an hour in any one place doing the same thing over and over again and fun has ceased ?  It's time to read a walkthrough, or use a cheat. I don't have all day to play these, and I could, but I can't so I won't ! But I will if I can! I want to have fun, I want to be engaged and would rather have the first game not in -- EasyMode--, but in --Normal Mode--.  I'm Playing- Assassins Creed Three- right now .  It took me a few tries to get here after playing the Kick Ass RPG- DISHONORED- I'll tell about my journey through great suggestions from an employee to ........don't buy these games yet !  In my next Observation I might mention Ovaries and get some  perspective. If you play games then please be reflective. Write me back!
be you X-box  Girl, or Playstation Dude ,
Or Wii Oui We
have all Played Halo in the Nude.
Playin Peace!
 Write me Back!
;P

Thanks for the tumblr_lo3ffpobmt1qko4x4o1_400.gif :)

Thursday, June 27, 2013

My letter Back to Mr Dewhurst


http://www.burntorangereport.com/diary/13706/read-the-offensive-email-david-dewhurst-sent-last-night
By Obama-like Mob- rule - he is mistaking Democratic process for the way Republicans do things, because Obama was elected freely and fairly WITHOUT having to redistrict State lines! You can blame Obama for a lot of things like enacting Universal Healthcare- but you can't blame him for David Dewhursts awful performance , lack of leadership as well as his apparent inability to grasp one of the most basic aspects of the Parliamentary System! Everyone around the entire world saw the  fiasco.  Embarrassing president of any Texas Senate!  As far as the sanctity of life- it is not reserved for conservative or liberal, it's something David and his cohorts neglect to fully appreciate, unlike their appreciation for corporations, overlooking the suffering of children and actually adding more problems to the life of  working  Texas mothers!
            As far as the Supreme Court finally getting rid of D.O.M.A., eroding family values, the only values that got eroded were the ones that kept loving  families from adopting all the children condemned to orphanages! You insist  children exist no matter what the circumstance as in SB5- circumstances that include RAPE and INCEST. But when it comes time to taking care of them- YOU flip a coin like Ayn Rand at the Social Security office! You denyed those willing to adopt you kept  families from orphans! We give them families full of loving parents. And as the experts say, Kids don't just need to be loved, they need to be adopted by loving parents.
         As far as your Job and the unprofessional embarrassment you and your boss Rick have become in the eyes of  Texas , and the entire world wide internet!  WE WILL TAKE IT!!   We'll take it I'll take Democracy back from the arrogant elitists exploiting abortion for their own gain and to the detriment of the very women it purports to be saving .
                      Saving women from what?! Proper healthcare? Saving them from what?!  A chance to be treated with an equal reverence for their HUMAN rights?!  We need to save them From you!! We will take it as in -your job.
        If you really care about Women David D  why did we give up the help from the Federal Government? Why did the Dewhurst party eliminate Planned Parenthood in Texas? Planned Parenthood that helped provide healthcare to working poor Texans! Was it because they are Women or was it because they are poor Women? Planned Parenthood was not only helping Texas Women but it was SAVING Texans Big Bucks!!
         Unlike Perry, Planned Parenthood stood by , took care of Texas Women,  unlike David Dewhurst it listened to them as though they are Human beings  NOT a  "Mob"  Women have a good reason to be Angry. I hope David remembers the voices from that fateful night , the night when true Texans stopped him from circumventing Texas law! Remember the sound of Real Texans that were angry enough to leave their jobs, break schedules, give up hours of work, and fleeting moments to breath to stop you! Their voices and their votes will be the bell that tolls for you and your cohorts career .

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Voter ID Why?

Do you know why the Republicans are so HARD UP about Voter ID laws?
Is it only because it instantly removes a ton of minority , and poor rural voters?
Nope!
It's because it is the Republican wet dream to commit voter fraud!! If they could get away with it they would do it for sure!!
Hey they tried to break the law last night in the Capital of Texas!!!
Thank God some REAL TEXANS stopped them!
I have worked the POLLS myself and I have never seen or heard of, or even heard of anyone seeing or hearing of anyone showing up with a fake ID or someone misrepresenting themselves!
(Unless you consider the lie that Perry told when he took the oath to represent the people of Texas
then went and had a good laugh with his corporate buddies that were exempted from safety inspections... )

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Under Moon on a Hill



I think you forgot your wedding ring

by the bedside alarm right

next to my pills.

I was lying there being attacked by

your baby brothers son

when Captain James T. Kirk jumped over my shoulder, I noticed that picture

above our bed. It reaches over both sides, has a long frame , reaches over both sides.

Lavender Paper,fancy cursive letters,

majestic blue words silent in shadows

til the picture at the end!

Jack the Pumpkin King and Sally

under the full Moon

on top of a swirling hill in the cemetery staring into each others eyes.

While the monster was persistently trying to climb over my right arm and escape the bed, reached down and accidentally touched the pillow I coincidentally flung into cat litter across the room.

I jolted my arm upward and avoided the Monsters arm and smacked my self

Accidentally in the face.

There was that Picture again

I remembered

sitting in our old house in front of the piano,

Dave Rose and you were hunched over some project or assignment

you were scheming like Nazis in Matzo factory!

Except it was for good.

I mean after those words were said

you and I would be married!

(and to think ...what a coincidence!

Now all we have left to eat IS Matzo?!)

I looked up and you both smiled and came through the french doors

thinking all this is worth it.

I always thought it was really funny that he married both of us

not that he Married us to each other,

but I have heard him referred to at Parties as

The man that Married Rodger!

I get an endless kick out of that shit!

It's worth joking that he's married you too,

because he did and he's already married!!

I Know Right?!




But you are my Sally

and my Head may Be Really Big Pumpkin

but it's yours.

I don't mind if we lose

Lock Shock and Barrel

We can tie Santa Clause up ourselves!

(Have you seen our Facebook pics on X-mas Campfire?)

or each other.




I know I am a weirdo

I understand

No ONE gets my hatred of Flip Flops like

YOU!

Hence you may wear them...




I know you know

I can cut somebody without even realizing it

make them suffer in front of everyone watching..

only me to myself and only while I'm shaving.

that kind of balances it out.




I have a Big Butt

I get defensive in response to compliments..




"Hey Rodge That jacket Looks Better than the other one!"




"What are you trying to imply?! that I do NOT look good in that other jacket when i wear it on Moonlit nights in Austin?!"




yeah I'm sorry I should do the dishes again

but my best friends leaving town Tomorrow

as I was riding home I happened to think

of those boxes at my Moms place you helped me send .

I remember that fruit tree that's not in that picture,

I remember your crazy blushing face in a night that glowed for me so much already.




I remember you being proud




When I pooped in a Bush on Mt Bonnell

(like no one ,ever has before!)

I wasn't riding my bike down that Scary Ass Hill

having to fight it!




When we finally

were at the Bottom of it.

You hung out on the dock among the Trees

by the Pond full of leaves

down the trail

past the peacocks

in Mayfield Park.




You told me to shut up and go away..

----always a precursor to

I love you

Marry me ok?







Couldn't rent Mayfield Park , or go to a Cemetery

but there were some dead pets buried in our old back yard

and the only Oogie

that showed up at our wedding was

the Boogie ,Ooogie, Woogie!

I stood on a Spiraling hill

Under the moonlight

looking in your eyes..




Hey the ring isn't here

it's just your keys...




I'll try to do those dishes please




before you get home




I hear the words now..




come to sleep with me .

:)

Monday, June 24, 2013

A Man told me about Womens Free will,

https://www.texastribune.org/
Why don't you grow a uterus before you start telling people how to treat theirs. Free will huh? if you care so much why don't you yes YOU go down and adopt a child from a woman that was raped! Why don't you sit there while your wife is forced to give birth to a rapists child! Or a child is forced to give birth to child that her father put in her! Why don't you sit there and hold Her hand and tell her it's the right thing to do? If you really care about people how about starting with the victims of violent crime? You know what free will is? It's doing something positive with your life and raising kids on your own, and choosing to not to give up. Free will is helping people in real life and not trolling folks that don't agree with you. Free will is standing up for the victims of a violent crime, and making light of the corporate backed politicians that want to reinforce and bring back a backward, antiquated system of social welfare , that directly effects millions of working poor womens health in a very detrimental, and High handed manner! Free will means being big enough to take care of the born already and not just the unborn fetus and Born again.

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Ireland or Self Reflection  

or

Hi-satirical  Ireland and how England introduced Religion ,then later came back to get everyone to Convert . They all used to be Gaelic! 


Friday, June 21, 2013

Life has a way of freaking you out about not being freaked out.https://soundcloud.com/erodgenation/across-the-pavement
https://soundcloud.com/erodgenation/across-the-pavement
 So I have to calm down about being calm
 be aware I am having fun
 things rock... right now.... anyway.
 So you stop cause
that time i was walkin down Red River with my buddy jack
Fresh from the Blue Flamingo,
we were Rawkus  Joyous as we yelled what time is was to anyone across the street!
"  Flamingo Rocked tonight ! It's two twenty every body!  "
As we turned i noticed a fellow waving to greeting us to 6th street!
At once he was two, then four then 7
Seven guys they  followed us and no longer appeared Jolly, at all.
He grabbed me by my collar and through me sideways  up against a storefront window
and asked
 "   Cinco de mayo SUCKS all NIGHT!? Fuck YOu and Your Buddy every body?!"
Well at least he got one word right before I noticed his right fist, it's outline glimmered somehow swooping into my facehttps://soundcloud.com/erodgenation/across-the-pavement
I looked down. A thud for a second
I'm not around
all at once is too loud
My FUCKIN Eyebrow? I saw blood from the gash smack onto his face
 That doesn't hurt!
And I fell
down beneath their legs
And ran on my knees then my feet
underneath these Angry
Deaf Gang member Banditos
like trees I grabbed their legs like trees and they fell, or ran,
 as fast as I run and I ran!
I ran so far away
a block i'd say,
my pal Jack ok and at my side..
But then I went blind in one eye the blood was everywhere.
 Stupidly it made me macho
Jack was back there on the ground getting kicked!
I looked around cause i was scared asked giant frat guys if they'd
help me out and quickly explained
but they shirked away
he was fucked up  so I picked him up slowly
 I actually carried somebody!
really weird cause even though it was really serious
I was like
Fuck you Henry Rollins I can save people too!
 I don't know why I chose Henry cause
I meant to think Bruce Willis.
https://soundcloud.com/erodgenation/across-the-pavement
So everything was great
Then we ate a shit sandwich .
at least it was free !
now I'm alright,

https://soundcloud.com/erodgenation/across-the-pavementhttps://soundcloud.com/erodgenation/across-the-pavementStill freaked out about not freakin out!
The eventually ending drama is more compelling than eternal life.

IInitiate the Change

!https://soundcloud.com/erodgenation/i-initiated-the-change

Time to step up,
time to complete
 this thought through deception
 that lives  outside me. I can feel my shell stretch


over wounds I don't have ...yet..


i INITIATED shutdown.

I need to UNDERSTAND

i TRIED TO CONTEMPLATE.

the falling of your hands


Your train of thought is odd
Add caption

i-initiate-the-change
it never goes as planned.!https://soundcloud.com/erodgenation/i-initiated-the-change


In a Book on an Ocean


lost for a Century


Hollow voices


manipulated into


a speck falling


into Histories eye.


Still so loud

Still so Dire

Still a lie.


Volume crowds

the quiet fire

so do I


can't hear

you say

must wash out the stain

and every word you said

no matter

Pain

no wonder

why

our fate has rearranged


i

I initiate the change


!https://soundcloud.com/erodgenation/i-initiated-the-change

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

video
My beautiful Wife Rachel and Rebecca.  My sister Eve my nephew Robin and Nicholas Anderson Mandrel.
 We're Number One and we are going rafting From Canada into Montana!!
On the road to Rafting in Montana video

If you take away Biology you take away morality, there has to be no morality for survival to a machine software may be able to hold a human mind but how that consciousness evolves, or if it does, depends on needs and expectations it no longer has, if there are none then does the mind adapt or short circuit and cease to exist, or become simply stored information actual consciousness fading almost instantly? Cartesian Dualism is not my idea of truth . What do you think?

China is in Love


Cat on the Fence lookin there at you!There's a Cat on the Fence!
What ja gonna do?!
Cat on the the fence lookin like you!
There's Cat on the fence what ja gonna do?!
Get that that Cat off the fence!
What's he gonna do?!
Get off the fence and that Cats like you!
Cat owns the Fence !
What ja gonna do?!
Another Cat on the fence !
What about you?!
Cat on the fence lookin at at you!
Cat on the fence what ja gonna do?!
Get on the fence like the other Cats do !!?


Little lovely China
She's a one of a kind
Snowy white girl.
Little lovely China
she'll take your life in a whirl.
There seems to be no effect
or a cause..
you better show some respect
for her claws!
Once it's on
she won't pause
to ask you your name
it all just her game
she doesn't mean you to fear her
she just wants your blood for her
mirror.
Little Lovely China
You can't break my
Little lovely China

Friday, June 14, 2013

Funny how as we get older I keep hearing things that I never thought I 'd say come flying out my mouth! Nope I Don't drink or Smoke. Hey Nicholas graduated ! I 'm married, Study hard ! And... it's great!!

Thursday, June 13, 2013

People keep freaking out about the NSA and Government spying on us. Big Brother! Well , guess what LITTLE BROTHER, that is ,your neighbors , your buddies, Anonymous are also spying on you. I have friends that can easily slip into your network check out your mail and root around in your computer laughing at your habits and the sites you visit! This is no fucking joke there are programs shared by so called "Hackers" that can watch your every move online or off and all they have to do is a few keystrokes and SHWING! They are in for nothing, who do THEY report to ?! NO ONE! The funny thing is these same people stand about calling "OUTRAGE OUTRAGE" at the " NSA scandal" a government surveillance that all Congress-folks already knew about and have reported to them on a regular basis-- meanwhile LITTLE BROTHER is breaking their neighbors WiFi encryption and getting a good laugh from their poor saps porn habits and taking down any financial info they care to glean! If you think Big Brother, who is actually answerable to some kind of law and authority is behaving badly , just imagine what --LITTLE BROTHER-- who is not answerable to anyone at all, wears a Cape of Hero - ( Hacking in the name of the people ) can get away with !!

Underneath

 background colors of grey in graffiti stumbling efforts behind branches barely out of reach speak out timeless comments liberally written , spoken, sprayed on cement on the Stream fuzzy water grows and flows under neath under neath!

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Down the vent shaft slid behind the screen beyond the car I search for ghosts and splattered words that shift in light along the ancient Indian Creek Standing underneath under me.

 Under neath in the glade a savage face  around a corner

Between

Between Math and twigs quicksand of the gods  slinking into parallel times between rain  underneath

Praying to the Underneath

Sun Slapped clouds caught praying out rain

Monday, June 10, 2013

My Good friend Sheri took this for her project. I like it, it's me.
Disciples of the new age, portraits in the sand, see when they run their longest miles , holding caps in wet hands..Eyes upon them try to focus on the main facade Rage in Eden jigsaw sequence but no one could see the end....

Beth..(My Crush on Cher)

 I  had the biggest crush on Cher when I was in Junior High school in Iceland. There was a girl named Beth. Her Dad was in the Air Force. I thought she was really beautiful. She would sit in front of me on the bus home, and was really laid back.  She had long hair,was really laid back and tall like Cher. She would sing with her friends while we rode after school. I really didn't  have to ride the bus as far as her stop but I did and I would and walk home cause the stop after hers was the last one, and it was further than the School.                                      
The day before the very last day of school  I got caught climbing through the ceiling of A.T. Mahan, the  Junior High/High school on the  NATO base we were stationed at in KeflavĂ­k, Iceland. The next day I was in trouble so I decided that instead of going to class I would hide out and ride the Bus around all day and see for myself where it went.
                      I hid in the very back seat and pulled up my legs while everybody else got out at school. No one noticed me and off we went! The Bus then turned into the Base Bus , people got off and on for an hour or so but no one went to the back so I stretched out and was finally able to sit like a human. Somehow the driver didn't notice. After going around the Base a few more times the last person got off and I hid again. It turned out there was a depot where the bus refueled in the middle of the day. I remained hid in the back til the driver was gone and the Bus was silent. Then I slipped down the aisle, down the stairs and out the open door.  Outside and some yards away parked in a line next to each other were  Four Amphibious assault vehicles left over from WW2 ! When the coast was clear I ran all the way across the pavement of the depot past the military Jeeps, snow plows, security trucks and climbed on board the first boat with wheels I saw!
      The next half an hour I was John F Kennedy on the PT 109, Then I was landing my men in Normandy! Then my Dad on Patrol in Vietnam! It was awesome! I was even a Space ship captain for a second until I noticed people moving  by the bus!  I still do not know how they didn't see me, but, all the service men were always friendly to kids, maybe they laughed as I jumped from seat to seat and pulled on the big guns, I'll never know and I'll never forget that afternoon. When it was all clear again  I snuck back on the Bus and  assumed my hiding place behind the last seat .
               It was time for it to pick up the High school Kids and take them to the Youth Center. I tried to hide from them but they found me! I thought I was gonna get picked on but the biggest kid told everyone to shut up and not say anything in German. The guys patted me on the back and the girls hugged me and made me blush , then laughed at how cute I was. They all told me I was there hero, it was cool that I had skipped school, and everyone wondered where the bus went ! I was now officially a High School Kid! I made many pals it was fun and strange. In Iceland the kids were from all over the world and  different languages flew around in the laughter. The big German kid  had a small AM Radio. Suddenly the bus stopped and the driver was on his way to the back to see what all the commotion was! The kid put his radio in my hand motioned me to turn it down, and shoved my whole body under his seat! Footsteps came closer then "You Kids please keep it down ..Back here? This is not a Party bus!" he went back to the front and sat down. His eyes darted  like a lighthouse beam shining through the mirror and scanning the back. I was smooshed under the seat. The radio cupped in my hands to keep it quiet, as the bus started back on it's way the engine noise allowed me to loosen my grip. In that bumpy moment, I heard the name... Beth?  .. from in my hands.."Beth I hear you callin , but I can't come home right now..." I loosened my grasp unconsciously to listen. I imagined my Beth laughing and in love with me..she cried as I stayed out late being a Rockstar..so sad she missed me... The big German boy kicked me " Hey Mr Kiss fan keep it down und give me My Vireless! Soon we vill be leaving you! Don't come out til we're gone!  Bye Bye Stranger Bus rider, say hello vhen yous sees us in School!" He gave me Five, pulled the radio out of my hands and turned it off. The bus stopped, my head hit the bottom of the chair, and they were gone.
                    The song echoed in my mind as the door closed and we drove away. It was a long while that we drove up and down hills, around corners, then stopped in front of the school . I heard the doors open. A cacophony of kids  filled narrow corridor between seats of the long bus like an auditory fireworks display, bouncing off the metal of the ceiling and vinyl of the beneath. I was going to stay hidden, but through it all,I heard her voice. She was sitting in the front, she was laughing, it made me smile as I pulled myself up into the backseat.
                          The kids had just reached the back, that was where that Jerk," Mr Cool" Brian Skinner sat.  There was a reason I didn't play Football with the American kids and he was it! When i tried to play he would come up behind me and grab the back of my pants leg so I fell flat on my face. Now he was staring at me with that familiar shit eating smirk" Hey Stink Bomb! What's your loser Flat face doing here?! Get out!!" He grabbed my shoulders and pushed me into the aisle. The Bus lurched forward as he sat down , I almost fell. I steadied myself on the back of the seats and the bus driver yelled "Sit down you dummy you want to get hurt?!" All I cared about was  Beth not see me, I sat down immediately next to  Blond Jon. He was oblivious, but moved over without incident. (Norwegians always seemed to be thinking about something else . He was a cool guy, I knew because I saw him out at the dump one day.)  I sat there for a long time, waiting for each stop. Waiting for Beths' Stop,. I had been riding all day, I had fought in World War Two on Amphibious Assault, and I now I was cool with the High School Kids! I could definitively talk to her!  Sure it was the last day of school but, I was ready! Brian brained me from behind as he passed by on his way off the bus, " Hey Stupid !! Why don't you get off at your own stop!? Jerk !" I kept my head down and let him leave. Jon shook his head at the whole affair, shook my hand oddly officially before he got off at the next stop. A loud bunch of younger kids left out after him. Only three more stops! I had to move now! I jumped up like I was going to get off but ended up right behind her. I could hear Beth talking to Lilly about how stupid Brian was. The Bus doors opened , Lily stood up," See you tomorrow Elizabeth! Do Not forget to call me!"  One more Stop! I had to act immediately! I swung around the seat and Plopped down right next to her! She rolled her eyes and moved sideways to give me room. Her shiny long black hair smelled like Vanilla, her skin was smooth and brown, her eyes were dark, deep, and amused. They reflected the sun that shined from the side of the sky. In Iceland it's always afternoon. Smiling she turned towards the window. I had to say something !  I may be a Flat nosed stink Bomb, but I had to say something  her stop was coming up! I knew I could make her laugh, I was a funny Flat nosed Stink Bomb , Brian couldn't take that away! I hoped she didn't see him humiliating me! Maybe she'd heard about me getting in trouble- Maybe i was stinking right now?  Mom said I was handsome , all I had to do is say something funny.  I nervously turned to her, she was majestic . More majestic than any princess or Puffin Bird, or any Gypsy girl on her way home. The Bus stopped! Oh Crap it was her stop! She stood up! I was stunned , confused I had to speak ! I had to.. "BETH !!"  She turned to me , "What is it Rodger?" Beautiful the way she spoke my name, MY name!  I stammered .."  ..I hear you calling...But I can't ..come home ...right now!" I smiled like a stuffed animal at the circus. She laughed, " Rodger you are famously funny!" she turned," Have fun with the boys!"  Beth laughed as she stepped down the stairs, off the Bus, and out of my life.
                      I watched her walk for a long time, but my neck cramped. Finally,  turned back around when the bus driver spoke. "Hey! You gonna be ok?" I tried to hear him as my heart fell and fell and fell through the floor as far as I know it's still falling. Amazing how hurt ,how strange it felt, like all the blood in my body, all the light everywhere disappeared. I couldn't lift my head. I was just a passenger, not on the Bus, in my body, I was just a passenger being tossed back and forth as the Bus rambled along in a weird part of Earth. My body lurched forward but I didn't fall.   Last Stop. Bus driver turned to me " I know you don't live around here. You gonna be ok?" I awkwardly stood up, turned back and kind of fell out the door. I stood there outside i the cold wind of Iceland pushing me one way then another, but, I was stuck and staring up at the driver. He smiled, I remember now he was the age I am now. His eyes squinted as though they were saying, it's been a long ride we had today. I backed up."You'll be ok."  The doors  shut abruptly. Vast hills or rolling green an snow brushed stone were laid out before me as the Bus vanished from view. Its engine once a great heartbeat when I hid under the seat, now a fading lullaby. Ash still coated the surface of the snow and grass as I began my march home. The last day of school was over, the Sun was amazingly still beautiful. I dragged my little Heart over the lava rocks breathing in the arctic air. Beth I hear you calling ...

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Star Trek Into Darkness or Into Dorkness? PT1

I Love Star Trek ! I always have since I was about Six years old. Before that I was a lost in Space fan, but as you hit the hill at Six you realize that Dr. Smith is a real jerk and he's really boring . The Robot, Will , the future Station Wagon with treads, and the Ship are the only cool things left. Star Trek however, everything is cool and just gets better as you get older! We lived in Iceland for much of my childhood so we didn't get to really get to see the cool shows like Star Trek except in Germany in Spain once. (Kung Fu was in German too but it was too funny to watch!) 
            When we got back to the States in the great year of the Bicentennial, 1976, full of loud colors, loud people , and that weird Bicentennial symbol was on everything from Bicycles to Bikinis! We had lived on an island in the Arctic Circle for years, now we were thrust into Televisions everywhere telling blatant lies! The best thing we could do to survive was sneak downstairs after hours and watch Saturday Night Live!  There were so many Channels! So many people! So many commercials! In Iceland we had one Channel my Mom had her own show even! The stuff they played all day was old movies from the silent era all the way to the Sixties if you were lucky, and NO commercials ,  except for the American Armed Forces Radio and Television Service and they were just American Flags waving and Wolfman Jack saying thanks for watching! In Europe there was an hour of really funny and risque commercials and then you got to watch the whole show. 
          America was in your face! Kids were mean, adults impatient, no one cared about any one person it at school or on T.V. I could not fathom how anyone actually believed the crap that commercials said! We had moved from the lower Arctic to Albuquerque New Mexico. In Kefplavic in the Summer the Sun would slide around the sky, it looked like 5pm all day long really an endless Autumn almost. In Albuquerque the Sun would hover over your head ALL DAY LONG! It was like walking under an operating lamp all day, a feeling I was all to familiar, and uncomfortable with. 
   There was so much information and so many things to do in this new Place Called New Mexico, America, the United States. registering for school , registering at the Library, rushing to new classes through crazy halls with mean kids. I remember I was late to class cause I was in the Bathroom trying to go number two after everyone left because there were no walls around the commode! In the hallway was a tall confused looking Vietnamese  fellow. I'd had lots of Filipino friends in Iceland so he didn't seem so different to me. He tried to ask me a question in English, and I was completely confused. Then he showed me his schedule. I managed to get him to the right class and it happened to be where mine was to we both sat down among the stares of strange children and an unapproving teacher. The kid next to me asked why I helped the Gook, I had no idea what that meant I guessed they were a band and replied oh yeah they rock n roll! I was enrolled in gifted classes and got summoned to go there. I got to go there long enough to make a video about us gifted students racing around the campus on our butts, through stop motion video it was great! Then I was told my teacher had enough of me missing her class and was summoned back to history. I asked to go to the bathroom because I had a congenital problem with my bowels, she refused. She finally let me leave an hour later after I had already gone in my pants, but made me leave through the front door so everyone could see the big stain.  They called me Stink Bomb from that day forward. I ended up going to the Nurses office, I told them my mom had come went out back, climbed over the fence and crossed the mesa to the Air Force base where we lived chasing Horny toads and discovering a new little oasis that had a creek next to the Base fence.
      So here we were in a place where all the cartoons were supposed to be great where shows like Six Million Dollar Man and Planet of the Apes came on, and the where you could go outside with out a Jacket. I hated it. America the beautiful? America the mean was more like it! 
             
I hadn't re- discovered Star trek ,and I hadn't met a Native American yet.. 

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